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Genesis 38 -- in which contraception is punishable by death, etc.


Oh, so this is where the prohibition against birth control comes from! Genesis is a pretty important book!

So, I've lost track of all the family tree stuff. OK, Judah is another son of Jacob, brother to Joseph, but one of the brothers that argued against killing Joseph and in favor of selling him into slavery. A footnote says this establishes Judah as one of the "good brothers". I guess so, in a lesser of the two evils fashion. Slavery < Murder.

Judah found a wife for his firstborn, Er, who was wicked in some unspecified way so God killed him POW. So, Judah told his secondborn, Onan, that he had to fuck Er's widow, as his brotherly-in-law duty. Onan fucked her, but at the last second pulled out and "wasted his seed on the ground". So God killed Onan POW.

Don't you dare waste your sperm on the ground, boys! Or God will kill you also POW.

Having lost two sons to the God POW already, Judah told the widow she could not have sex with any more of his sons, for fear of losing another to wasted seed.

She was pissed about getting no sex, as Biblical babes always are, so instead she tricked Judah into having sex with her, by dressing as a prostitute and charging him the price of one goat (today the average breeding goat costs $700, which ironically is the same price Joseph fetched from the slavers). Daughter-in-law became preggers by Judah on the first try!

About three months later, she began to show. Judah declared that she would be burned alive for the crime of getting preggers by some stranger, not knowing he was the father. When she told the truth of her trickery, he decided not to burn her after all. She gave birth to twins.


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