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Matthew 5


So teh crowds came to hear Jesus and receive free health care, and this is the sorta stuff he said:

God will take care of you, all of you, even if you think you don't know him well. He will take care of those who mourn their dead family & friends, those who are submissive in their suffering, those who try really hard to do the right thing, those who are merciful, those who are pure in their motives, those who are peaceful in their actions, and those who are persecuted for doing the right thing. All of you will be taken care of by God in his Kingdom of Heaven.

Knowing that God will take care of you, remain pure in your thoughts and deeds. And do not hide away in darkness! Come out, Come out, into the light of day, so that all may see your goodness.

However, dear people, I, Jesus, have not come to abolish either the Roman Alliance or your Jewish Religion. Continue to follow the laws you have been given by your governors and priests. Just be careful that you follow these laws better than your leaders do ;-) If you want to live in Heaven with God, you must do the right thing more often than the politicians and bishops do.

You already know that murder is bad. But I am here to tell you that anger is also bad. Speak kindly to each other. If you are feuding with somebody right now, go to him and settle your differences peacefully. When you have a dispute, don't drag one another to a court, but settle your differences as friends.

You already know that adultery is bad. But I am here to tell you that lust is also bad. If you find yourself looking at another with lust, gouge out your eyes! It is better to tear out your own eyeballs than to live forever in Hell. If any part of your body is urging you to sin, it is better to cut it off than to live forever in Hell.

[Eeeek, I'm not cutting that off! I'm hoping that paragraph was metaphorical.]

Do not divorce your spouse! Not unless your spouse cheats on you first. And don't shack up with somebody else's ex-spouse, you know you can't trust somebody like that!

Do not swear or make oaths, not on the Bible, not to God, not to anybody. It is enough to answer questions simply, with a Yes or No.

Do not resist evil people! Let them do what they want, let them take away your property, let them punch you, offer them no resistance. If somebody asks you for help, give it. If somebody wants your money, let them have it.

Of course you love your friends, that's natural, that's easy. But I ask you to love your enemies as much as you love your friends. God created both your friends and your enemies, and you should love them equally. The world is as God made it: perfect. Your job is to understand this perfection, and to love it, no matter what.


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