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The Ten Suggestions


Oh, how history might have turned out differently, if Moses had returned from a backyard BBQ with a bunch of lesbians holding forth a copy of The Ten Suggestions ...

Moses: It was late afternoon, and most of us were tripping on some great acid, when suddenly the sky opened up and the Goddess appeared! After enjoying some meat and mead with us, she scribbled the following Ten Suggestions on some Hello Kitty stationery, and then disappeared with a flourish.

(1) I am the wonderful Goddess, who enjoyed your hospitality, but I suggest you investigate all the world's religions, to see how different groups of people have found similar approaches to the difficult questions of human life.

(2) You can make pictures of me all you want, but that doesn't make you special.

(3) Nobody really knows what I think, so don't speak as though you are speaking for me.

(4) At least one day per week should be your own, to do as you please, no work duties, no chores, just fun and relaxation. Even the Goddess takes vacations! (Unfortunately, it's always during my vacations when those horrible World Wars break out.)

(5) We all dishonor our parents from time to time, that's part of growing up, but try to patch things up with them after you move out.

(6) Only kill something if you are willing to eat it.

(7) Don't entice people to break their relationship agreements just so you can shoot your load.

(8) Don't steal from people who have less than you have.

(9) Usually it is best to tell the truth, but you do have the right to remain silent.

(10) You may covet your neighbor's ass. But if you covet too many things that don't belong to you, you'll forget how wonderful your own life is.


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