Physical Materialism, Ethereal Immortality, Whatever!
I feel like I'm popping out of the end of a long tubular ride, during which I've been chewed, swallowed, digested, and ... expelled ;-) Mentally speaking. Physically I'm doing pretty well for a 36-year-old human.
I've been considering the myriad of available explanations for Why The Universe Is Thus, including my own seemingly tiny role as Why I Am Thus. I've even been dreaming up my own original fantastic suspicions. At times, I've felt like my own immortality might depend on my solving these mysteries for all time. At other times, I've feared solving these mysteries would create terrible new problems I'd regret for all time.
This has all been part of the dramatic grieving process I've endured since my father's death, about a year ago, as it has interacted with my quasi-Buddhist path.
And, after wading through a bunch of interesting ideas, some heartening, some terrifying, about the meaning (or lack of it) behind my perceptions, I've decided that the best thing for me now would be to let it all go.
Accepting that I don't know. Accepting that nobody really knows. Accepting that it might not turn out the way I want it to. There might be more, there might be less, there might be nothing, and ... I'm just gonna hafta wait and see what I find out next.
In fact, it seems like some of the worst excesses in human history have been driven by people who thought they knew for sure how the universe is supposed to work. That drive to make everything "right" ...
I'm just gonna focus on my own little world for now. My job, my friends, my family, my hobbies, and myself.
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