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Unblocking the "No"

Over the past few days I've had a variety of impulses to do fun things ... and many of them have been blocked by an internally repetitious "No" ... meanwhile I've felt tired, depressed, and full of cravings for things I can not have right now.

The "No" has seen all of these fun things as meaningless distractions. From what? From sitting around and feeling depressed? From solving the dark secrets of my existential angst?

Truly, I need to get on with my life and stop saying "No" to myself. What is it I desire? Why not go after it? Why not make my life a carnival of fun, love, and excitement?

Sure, I have things to grieve, losses to count, painful experiences to endure ... but I don't see why I should force myself to dwell upon them at the cost of enjoying the rest of my life.

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