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Friday, May 7, 2004
Truisms
Anybody who is single is surrounded by people who are (1) taken, (2) uninteresting, or (3) uninterested. That's simply how the math works. It takes time and energy to find a compatible mate. Eventually, nearly everybody finds one. So will you! Meanwhile, you gotta focus on ways to be happy as you are. Think of it this way. What if an oracle told you that you were destined to always be single, no matter what you did. That would suck ... but after a while you'd have to find other goals for your life, goals that didn't require a mate. There are alternatives to the disappointed search for a mate. And, paradoxically, if you set non-mating goals for your life, you increase the chances of running into compatible people who have done the same thing. ----- Take life step by step -- don't ask for a happy ending until you are finished! ;-)
Written by Matthew Dominic Hunter @ 05:04 AM
Monday, May 3, 2004
Barebacking is Irresponsible
I can't accept the position that "we shouldn't judge" when it comes to barebacking. As gay men, we all grew up with the harmful judgments of an anti-gay society. But that doesn't mean that all judgments are harmful, or even that all judgments regarding sex are harmful. Being gay isn't irresponsible. Barebacking is irresponsible (unless you are in a special fluid-sharing relationship). ----- New STDs and new strains of old STDs are constantly evolving. We didn't know that HIV existed until a large proportion of the gay community had already infected each other. There will be more new and stealthy STDs in the future ... I don't know what they are, but I am certain they will come. When a substantial proportion of the gay community are barebacking with multiple partners, it creates an ecological niche for the evolution and transmision of new STDs. If we let down our guard each time we think we've conquered the latest scourge, then we allow a new STD to walk in the door. Wearing a condom is to anal sex, as washing the hands is to examining patients in a hospital. It's a necessary barrier to the spread of disease.
Written by Matthew Dominic Hunter @ 08:29 AM
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