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Matthew 12


Jesus "Scream" Angers Residents
Resurrected Daughter Claims, "I was Better Off Dead!"
Under Torture, John "The Baptist" Admits Homosexual Union with Jesus
Jesus Vows "Civil War", Aides Say
Whitney Houston Arrested on Drug Charges

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On the Sabbath, Jesus and his assistants were hungry and had no food. They entered a field of wheat and harvested a few handfuls for themselves.

Suddenly, a small crowd of hecklers appeared, "Look, Jesus is working on the Sabbath! Did not even God rest on the 7th day? Who does Jesus think he is?"

Jesus replied, "Do not the priests work on the Sabbath? They don't get the day off, yet nobody complains about them."

Returning to town, Jesus saw a man with a paralyzed arm, and moved to care for him. A heckler asked, "Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?"

Jesus replied, "If your baby daughter fell into a well on the Sabbath, would the town not rescue her? Would not the entire country rescue her?"

Some in the crowd threatened to kill Jesus if he persisted in breaking the law, so Jesus and his assistants withdrew from the town. Nevertheless, a mob of the sick and insane had already gathered, and they followed Jesus begging for help.

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As Jesus cured a paranoid schizophrenic, a heckler claimed that only a demon could drive out other demons, that Jesus was a demon sent by Satan.

Jesus was getting fed up with this, and proclaimed, "Of course I was not sent by Satan, would Satan work against his own demons?"

Jesus angrily continued, "He who is not with me is against me. He who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven. You will have to account for your careless words on Judgment Day, and by your words you will be condemned."

Then some other hecklers said, "Jesus, teacher, we want to see a miraculous sign from you!"

He answered, "A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a miraculous sign! Have you not seen enough already? Where is your faith?"

As Jesus continued in that vein, one of his assistants quietly interrupted him, "Sir, your mother and brothers are here, they'd like a chance to speak with you."

Jesus replied, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" Pointing to a few of his Disciples, he said, "These men are my family, these men are my mother and my brothers. Those who do the will of God are my family!"

The crowd was shocked, and the news that Jesus refused to speak with his own mother traveled far and wide.


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