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The forgotten therapies


(I wrote this on October 23, 2003)

The two things they never did in the hospital were:

(1) Hug me
(2) Tell jokes

They droned on and on in seminar rooms about the evils of drugs, alcohol, and too much red meat; about how we needed to take our medicines until the doctor told us to stop, etc. Daily blood tests, pills, and short sessions with a psychiatrist. We had optional seminars about AA (that was truly scary!), and optional religious services (I had a Catholic priest tell me to stop masturbating and having sex with men), and group therapy (there was the woman who drank a fifth a day so she wouldn't mind her kid crying all the time), and relatively tasty meals. We had a videotape about depression & electric shock therapy (eek!).

Why didn't they show us funny movies? Reruns of the Simpsons! How about a costume party, a dance where we could all shout, "Shake your booty, Shake your booty, YOW!"

Or maybe a group masturbation lesson.

Therapy is way too serious. We've all got the same shit. If people laugh too much, make them cry. If people cry too much, make them laugh ;-)

So there. I'm feeling better now. From now on, I'm fighting depression with laughter.


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